Sunday, September 8, 2013

I Saw the Sign

Or did I...?

This is part 2 to yesterday's post. A lot has been going on. Oh yeah, and I'm frustrated with that too. Frustration seems to be a running theme here. Ugh! I feel like things are blah! And that I've been in a funk for a while now. How I'm handling it all has been very revealing though. In good ways and bad...

You know what I've realized? I'm not very in touch with my emotions. I don't really know how I'm feeling most of the time. And I don't handle my feelings well most of the time. So I've been feeling just weird lately and I was trying to pinpoint exactly which emotion it was. I think I've written about The Voice of the Heart before, but it is based on the principle that everyone has 8 basic emotions: hurt, sadness, loneliness, fear, anger, guilt, shame, and gladness. For each emotion, there is a negative reaction to it and there is also a positive outcome to each emotion if you take your feelings to God and trust Him with the voice of your heart. So since I am so bad at emotions, when I don't know how I'm feeling I think about how I am responding to it. Confession: it always the negative reaction. Like sometimes when I think that I'm sad, I look at the chart and see that I'm reacting with resentment and then I realize that I'm probably not sad, but hurt. Knowing which emotion I'm actually feeling helps me to better deal with it. Yes, I am aware that this is not the healthiest way to go about things. But I do feel like this way I am addressing the issue sooner and taking care of it instead of just dwelling in the negative. Prayerfully one day this won't even be an issue and it will be second nature to turn everything over to God, but for now it is a continual reminder to take every thought captive and turn each emotion to God.

I've been ready for a change for a while now. But have been trying to figure out if it's actually what I'm supposed to be doing. So I have been looking for a sign and I'll think that I see one and then something else happens and I think that it's a sign to stay put. And you know what? Signs don't matter. Ultimately, my purpose in life is to glorify God. At the end of the day, that's all that matters. I'm trying to continue to remind myself of that!

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