Monday, December 31, 2012

Year End Review

Another year has come and gone. I'm pretty sure time is going by faster than it used to. I blame it on global warming! But 2012 has been a crazy busy year! There have been some definite highs and some pretty low lows. But all in all, it's been a good year. 

January I was two months into the six months of not dating. I was dealing with expectations and changing friendships. We'll call that month a low. But there was also some definite growth and learning. Because of the low, I took a break from blogging at the end of January and in February I came back. And then I celebrated a single Valentine's Day and it was fabulous! Because February was so great, March had nowhere to go but down I guess. And it sure did fall--hard--into lots of confusion. But some serious revelations were made at the end of the month! April was reminiscent (and a lot of me trying to convince myself of things if I'm really being honest...). Then May came. And the dating challenge ended and dating begun. And I haven't been very good about writing ever since. Oops! In June, I went on vacation with my family. In July, I felt stuck, but then God continued to show me things. We took a break to seek God in August and in September I realized the sovereignty of God's timing. October uncovered that I was still hiding and, in November, I celebrated  a year of starting the challenge. We also celebrated our "friendiversary" which I really thought that I had written about but I can't find it anywhere. Maybe it was just on Twitter... And that brings us to now. I only posted once in December--about control and my slight issues. But at least I'm aware of them and addressing them, right?

So before I get to New Year's resolutions (which will be a post of it's own tomorrow), here is a look at New Year's Eves past. Kinda like Christmases past without the ghost of Marley creeping everyone out...




New Year's 2010 was celebrated at Raiford's and luckily there is no photographic evidence. But this is from that Christmas (I had to find one by myself...)  



Which brings me to tonight. Looking back at all the pictures makes me smile at the memories. I'm reminded about how things have changed over the years and how friendships have evolved. But I am so thankful for where I am today and the people that are around me!

And tomorrow I get to write one of my favorite posts. I might be the only one, but I love New Year's resolutions! Seriously. I'm pretty stoked about it. (Do people still say "stoked" anymore? What about "turnt up" or "ham"? #subtweet)

Friday, December 21, 2012

Control and Comparison

These two little words might be the death of me!

Guys, I'll confess. I have a slight problem with control. I may be borderline OCD. I used to joke about this. And tell people that it was just efficiency. In some areas, it is. (There is a right way to load a dishwasher and why wouldn't you fold and color-coordinate yout socks and underwear!) But tonight at work, I ran some stairs, cleaned out the medicine room, organized the medicine and IV carts, and had a lot of time to think. And I came to the conclusion that there needs to be a lot less of me in my life! A. Lot. Too much of me is overwhelming! I don't know how other people do it!

During my coffee date yesterday, I shared my fears and hesitations about the future and I was reminded that I don't know God's plans. I don't know what He has in store for my life. I don't have to sign my name in blood and commit to a future that cannot be changed. And I was able to breathe slightly more easily. It was a good reminder that no matter how much I may think I want it, I cannot control every aspect of every second of the day. I am so thankful for that!

The second death of me is comparison. Part of my obsession leads me to overthinking and overanalyzing every single little thing. Comparing myself to other people, comparing one person to another. And it never turns out well! I was talking to a friend the other day about life and how I didn't think it would have turned out like this and the response was, "well neither did I. The grass is always greener..." Which made me think about things too, of course. Comparison robs you of joy and doesn't allow you to live in the present. Pray for me as I tackle these things! And that I don't overthink things while I'm hanging out at work at midnight...