Saturday, September 24, 2011

Insomnia: Take 2

I know I already wrote a post about insomnia in February, but obviously it's still an issue. A. I didn't realize that the last time I wrote about this was in February and B. In that post I wrote that it had been going on for a few months. Rediculous! This post is more about the effects of what has now been months of insomnia. Effects that I should have known and should have picked up on much earlier- you know like being tired. I have always been a morning person. In college, I used to wake up at 4am and do my homework because I thought I was more productive in the morning (clearly, I was much of a party girl in college) But now it is harder and harder to wake up in the mornings. I blamed it on the fact that I was working 12 hours a day and had to be at work at 6:30. But then today I finally had that lightbulb-over-the-head moment. I set my alarm for 5--which I always do for work, but have gotten into the habit of pushing snooze until 5:45 or so. Horrible, I know! But today, I woke up at 5 and got right out of bed and realized how much energy I had. Then I thought about the last time I stayed at my parents' house and how much energy I had when I woke up the next morning. Seriously, I felt like a different person!

Let me just give you a preview of Thursday night. I got in bed around 10. Finally fell asleep about 11. Woke up at 12:30, 2, 3, and 4:30. Then my alarm went off at 5 on Friday morning. Yeah, it's no wonder I push snooze! But last night... I went to bed around midnight and woke up at 5am. Now usually I require more than 5 hours of sleep, but I don't remember the last time I got 5 uninterupted hours.

 So, the first question I get when I tell anyone about this is "why?" The simple answer: my mind races. I wake up with approximately 7523 thoughts running through my head, give or take and I can't stop thinking and worrying about things until I finally fall back asleep only to wake up and do it all over again in an hour or so. (Yes, DTR group, I have done a break-in on this and yes, I know what the stronghold lie is. The problem, as usual, is breaking out.) But I have definitely noticed that these racing thoughts are consuming my attention more and more at night and are now starting to intrude into my day as well. I'm afraid that all the thoughts, and worry, and stress are becoming idols in my life. I have never understood the phrase "Peace of Mind" more than I do now. So I am publically asking for prayers (privately, I will give more details...) Prayers for rest and for energy. Prayers for peace and comfort. Prayers for faith and dependence. Below is the verse that I put at the end of the last insomnia post. Clearly I need to continue to meditate on this...

"I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." Psalm 4:8

Friday, September 23, 2011


Today is the first official day of fall! The exclamation point may have been a slight exaggeration since I am not looking forward to sweaters and cold weather and all that jazz. But I am excited about something I found online--okay who am I kidding, I found it on pinterest. It's a Fall 2011 Bucket List... so fun!
So here's the list:
- Apple picking
- Make leaf art
- Go on a hay-ride
- Have a photoshoot in a leaf pile
- Enjoy a bonfire with s'mores!
- Make caramel apples
- Corn maze!
- Go to a pumpkin patch
- Go on 2 dates!
- Make fall cookies
- Take a nature walk (bring the camera!)
- Trick-or-treat
- Bake pies
- Decorate (carve/paint) a pumpkin
- Drink fancy coffee drinks
- Picnic

Doesn't that sound like fall gloriousness? The cold weather will be a lot easier to take now knowing I have a to-do list. Have I mentioned that I love a good to-do list? We'll see how it goes. All except the going on 2 dates which I may be skipping out on for reasons that would take way too long to post. But ask me about it. Maybe I'll tell you. Maybe I'll give you the real reason... :)

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Ansley Louise McGruder

My sister was induced on Wednesday. My parents and I drove up on Tuesday night to be there for the birth. Jessica and Jeff went into the hospital about 7am Wednesday morning to start the Pitocin (If you read I’m Bringing Blogging Back and watch 16 and pregnant, you are now laughing. Feel free to take a shot). The rest of us stayed home on Marlee duty. We played with her and got her ready for the day before taking her over to a friend’s house to play. Then my mom and I went to the hospital—first stopping by the liquor store to pick up some celebratory champagne! When we got to the hospital, we waited, and waited, talked, slept, watched a movie, and waited some more. Her doctor finally came in at about 5:30 or 6 to check her and decided to break her water. After that, things sped up. She progressed quickly and was ready to start pushing.

Ansley was born at 7:53 pm. She is perfect! And just the opposite of Marlee. I can already tell she is going to be way more laid back. She didn’t really cry when she was born (I mean she made some noises. The doctors weren’t concerned or anything, but she just doesn’t really cry.) Then when the nurse swaddled her, she felt right to sleep. From day one, Marlee hated being swaddled! She would kick and punch until her arms and legs were free. Ansley just layed there peacefully like it was the best thing on earth. Ansley also looked so much smaller than Marlee! Marlee weighed 9’8 when she was born; Ansley: 9’2. Not that much difference, but for some reason Ansley seemed a lot smaller.

My sister did great-of course. Aside from the Pitocin, she did it with no drugs. And made it look easy!

After Ansley was born and I got to hold her some and then I drove back to their house to get my dad and bring him back to the hospital. He was in love and got to hold her and take some pictures, but then it was time to get on the road.

We left Nashville about 11. I slept the whole time in the car while my dad drove. When we got to Memphis (at about 2) I went and slept in my parents’ bed while my dad finished packing. He had to be at the airport at 4:30 to fly to Honduras! He woke me up around 4 so I could drive him to the airport and then I went home to get ready for work. Needless to say, it was an exciting 24 hours! Ansley is wonderful and I’m so glad that I got to be there to see her. The only thing I missed out on was seeing Marlee’s reaction when she sees her baby sister for the first time. But I know there will be many trips to Nashville in the future!