And then I got to church. And Bryan ripped all that to shreds. I have talked to Bryan about my thoughts on all that and even blogged about fellowship versus community before. But today, especially in the midst of just wanting to isolate and run away, it was exactly what I needed to hear. So convicting! "Not everyone should know everything, but someone should." So then, even though I know that I have written about it before, I was going to write about how thankful I am that I have Peter, James, and John in my life. That God placed them in my life when I needed them most and that they are truly women that are with me on the mountains, but also go down into the valleys with me. And because of that we sometimes have hard (and much needed) conversations. But I am so blessed to have them!
Tonight, I went to dinner with friends. And to be honest, I had been struggling with this group. For multiple reasons. One being that I didn't know what we were. Or what I wanted us to be. Was it a Bible study? Okay, I could be in a Bible study with them. Was it friends hanging out? Perfect, I love hanging out with women in the body. Was it a community group? For various reasons that wasn't what I was looking for. When I thought it was moving more towards that, I backed off and have just recently started to cautiously get reconnected. But dinner was great tonight. I think part of it was the sermon today. It made everyone really evaluate what we wanted this group to be and to get more on the same page. And I got to have some great conversations. I hope that this will be the start of maybe something different and that God will continue to grow these friendships.
After dinner, I was able to fellowship with people that I haven't seen in a while or don't see often and catch up on life and be encouraged in ways that I didn't think I even needed. And encouraged I was! Not just by the words but by the thought behind them. And by my own thoughts. That I was able to hear the words for what they were and not read anything into them but just enjoy the sentiment. And think about how far I've come. And I could write a whole post full of parables about my excitement with not getting overly excited.
Through all this time, I'm trying not to stress. Trying not to think about the future and the conversation that was coming. It's funny how God takes everything away from me so I have nothing to lean on except for Him. I wish it didn't have to get to that point, but I'm stubborn and sometimes that's what it takes.
I missed my quiet time yesterday. Well, I started it and then was running late and got busy and never finished it. So while I'm waiting on this phone call, I decided to finish what I had started. "You sneaky, God!" It was exactly what I needed! Things that would have been good to read yesterday, were exactly what I needed to hear tonight.
He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His steadfast love towards those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:10-12And then I prayed. And cried. And waited on my phone to ring. And the conversation was nothing like I expected. (Although I really had no idea what to expect) And then I hung up and prayed some more.
So there you have it. All the things I thought about writing about today all rolled up into one... I've heard this song a lot in the past few days. (It seems like I've been dealing with this for weeks! How has it only been a few days??) And every time, I feel like God just has me stop and listen to the words. So great! He truly meets me where I am!
I've been set free
My God, my Savior, has ransomed me
And like a flood
His mercy rains
Unending Love
Amazing Grace
No one should be following 134 blogs while horribly running 4 of his own. But for some reason I am. This weekend, instead of studying for my I.T. exams at the office like I should be, I am cleaning out my blogger account and I came across yours. This entry prompted me to tell you about this book.
ReplyDeleteWhat Type Am I? Discover Who You Really Are
Go to Amazon and search for Myers-Briggs. This book is dirt cheap. Maybe you already came across this in your college studies but just in case you haven't you should look into this. It's a very easy read and has a few workbook sections. You'd probably fly through it in a day. Not only does it help you better understand yourself, it can kinda helps you understand others.
When my old company ADVO tried to lay off it's Graphics Print department, they gave us this severance package where they helped us try to get job placement. Part of that process was helping us recreate our resumes. But they started from the ground up. So they put us through a Myers Briggs personality test. The purpose was to help us discover our true strengths and weaknesses and help us narrow down our choices when it came to careers paths to choose from. It didn't really tell me anything that wasn't obvious but it did put things in perspective and answer questions I didn't even know I had. More importantly, it identified my habits, strengths and weaknesses which I wasn't aware of.
For example, I am 100% extroverted when it comes to my source of motivation. In other words, I get way more energized helping others, than I do helping myself. Which would seem like a good thing. But the weakness here is that I never do anything for myself and that is not good. I would have never known that without the Myers Briggs stuff.
I guess my point is, maybe your self-assessing and stubbornness is part of your personality type. And once you understand if it is or not, you can start using it to your advantage and moving towards a much happier and purposeful place. The book will help you identify certain behaviors and why you have them and what your triggers are. Then you might be better equipped to use the instruction and advice given to you through your friends and family and the Bible.
It could be the kind of thing that is a huge enlightening door opener and you can introduce it into you study group if you do end up finding it beneficial. If you and eventually the people in your study group have a better understanding of self and then of each other, it might bring you guys closer and lead to you guys gaining more from your sessions studying the Bible together. I dunno. Just a suggestion.
This long response is a characteristic of my Myers Briggs type. ENFJ. Coach/Teacher. I do this all day without even trying. Turns out understanding human behavior and character is a huge deal to me. Which is why I follow 134 blogs I guess. It used to drive June crazy. When she would have a million thoughts that would drive her nuts eventually leading her to tears, I couldn't help but want to try and help her fix that. Turns out, some people need that because that is how they work. That is part of their personality. Unfortunately I am wired to not sit by and watch people be unhappy. I can compelled to at least say something to help reach a happier state of mind.
Anyways. Stop being anti-social and crying. You are too awesome for that. Read this book sucka! it might open up some doors for you.
Just my two cents.