A Year End Review

I started writing this on December 31. And then continued to write it (in my head and through notes on my phone) for the next couple of days, but I'm finally finishing up and posting it.

I posted this on Insta last week:

"'And when you're tired of fighting chained by your control, there's freedom in surrender. Lay it down and let it go... Stop holding on and just be held...' - Casting Crowns

2015 has been filled with valleys and peaks. It has truly been a year of laying down and letting go. Spent some time reflecting on the year this morning and have been totally blown away by what God has done! I think 2015 just might have been my best year yet!"

I said that I would elaborate, so here it goes... Feel free to press play and listen along while you read:

As I have reflected on 2015, I have realized what a roller coaster of a year it has been!

People always say that rock bottom is a good place, because then there is no where to go but up. And while that may be true, it's not the whole story. What they fail to mention is how long you can stay in that place before "going up." I hit my rock bottom in November 2014. November 21 to be exact. (At least I hope that it was rock bottom, because I can't even imagine things being any lower...) Then I stayed there, wandering aimlessly and hopelessly, for an entire year. I spent a whole year at rock bottom! Until one day I was sitting at the river and actually took time to look up and stop wallowing in my sin. And, man, did God show up in major ways! He has remained faithful in my faithlessness and loved me with an unfailing love even at my most unlovable!

I didn't realize it until I looked back at journal entries today, but my day at the river was November 22, 2015. Exactly 1 year and 1 day after sliding to the bottom of the pit. God never ceases to amaze me!

Last January, I got my tattoo- a symbol of hope. I came into 2015 so hopeful: hopeful for the future and hopeful for change, but it took me a long time to get there!

My tattoo verse is Hebrews 6:19-20. We have this as a sure and steady anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf, having become a high priest forever after the order of Melchizedek.

One year ago, when I got this tattoo, it was about hope- a sure and steady anchor of the soul, but a year later, after diving deeper into these verses, it's about so much more. It's about God's covenant with Abraham. It's about His promises to us. His character is faithful!

I am so hopeful and optimistic about 2016. A little over a month out and I can already start seeing glimpses of how God is going to use this chapter of my story for His glory. I can't wait to see what else the Lord is going to reveal to me and I continue to cling to Him.