Day 62: The Ex Files

Nope, not that kind

More like that...

Sometimes I sit and listen to the stories from the other girls doing the challenge about the guys they've dated. About how they were jerks or did something unforgivable. New Year's Eve I walked into a party and saw 4 guys that I had been on dates with. (More about that in a future post about why I'm doing this.) But seeing those guys in a room together made me think about some things. 1. I need to hang out in different circles. 2. This fast would be a whole lot easier if I moved away. 3. I have dated some really great guys.

So this post is about them. I've been thinking about it for a while now, and have started writing it once or twice but I always get side-tracked or feel like I need more time to put into words how I feel. But I'm kind of excited about it. I have grown from each relationship and taken different things away from each guy. So here it goes...

*Disclaimer: These are not in chronological order. Or alphabetical order. Or any other order at all.

Number one was fun. We stayed up all hours of the night talking and laughing. We had fun together and grew together. But we also grew apart. We were young and were still figuring out who we wanted to be. The more we learned that, the more we realized that it wasn't with each other. But we stayed friends. Not the kind of friend that I talk to everyday, but I know that if I ever need anything, he will be there. He taught me the importance of friendship in relationships. That having fun and enjoying spending time together is priceless. I wouldn't trade that lesson for anything.

Things started out so right with number two. So different from previous relationships. And I think that's why I wanted it to work so much. But it couldn't. I wasn't ready. We were too different. Timing wasn't right. The list of excuses reasons goes on and on. But I was able to be myself around him. I was able to be goofy. There was a comfort in lying around in sweats and talking or just doing nothing. From him, I truly learned the meaning of unconditional love. I pushed him away so many times and he continued to pull me back. In the end, the differences won but I am so thankful for our time together.



We were young, in love, and could make it through anything- or so I thought. In reality, we didn't really know what love was. And because of that, it was a tumultuous, emotional relationship. When things were good, they were better than I could ever have expected. But they weren't always good. Even through all that, I never felt more secure and protected than when I was with him. He was my security blanket that allowed me to feel the comfort and confidence to try new things. Without even knowing it, he taught me what it looks like to submit. He was a servant leader and didn't even know it. Our time together was invaluable.

Number 4 and I just connected. I would say from the beginning, but it wasn't. It took some time- time for us to grow and get to know each other. We are similar in so many ways and yet in other ways we are total opposites. And because of that, he understood me. But he also stretched me and challenged me. He was encouraging and comforting, but wasn't afraid to give me tough love when I needed it (which was probably a lot more than I would like to admit). I wanted to be a better person because of him. From him, I got to see what it truly looks like to be washed with the Word. And that is a lesson that I wouldn't trade for anything!

As I said, I've dated some pretty great guys. And writing this out has made me realize a lot of things- not just because of the things that I wrote, but because of all the things that were going through my mind as I was writing. These men truly demonstrated qualities that I will look for in a future husband and I trust that God put all of them in my life for a season to point me to Him. Don't get me wrong, there were problems with each of these relationships too and reasons that they didn't work out. Most of those problems being me if I am really honest with myself. And so that is what this six months is all about- me. Well, me and God- growing in intimacy with Him and developing total dependence on Him. And my future husband. It's a little about him too. Because he deserves the best me that I can be!