Day 59: Mixed Emotions

It's been months. Four to be exact. And I didn't know how it would feel. I got nervous as I got closer. I sat in my car for a while and then I almost bailed. It still amazes me how much things have changed in a few months- how much I have changed. Tonight I got asked (yet again...) if this was wise or foolish-if I was supposed to be there. My flesh wanted to say, "leave me alone! I can do what I want to do!" But I also knew that my mind would go wild and my imagination would race with "what-ifs."

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?

Jeremiah 17:9

Not that my mind didn't race some. There were still crazy thoughts that popped into my head every once in a while. But knowing that other people are carrying this burden with me makes it easier to bear. I am so thankful that people know my struggles. That they can hold me accountable and call me out when needed. I am thankful for the laughter and jokes. But even more, I am thankful that I was able to have more than one intentional conversation with people that love me and were able to encourage me!