Sunday Smiles

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Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

- Hebrews 11:1

Moving to Manhattan

Megan and I went to New York last September and it was magical! It wasn't my first time, but something about the city stayed with me. While we were there, I would look at little brownstone apartments and think that I could live there, but I do that a lot when I go visit other places. The difference is that this feeling stayed with me after I returned home. I envision life in New York and what it would be like to be there everyday. Then I started to think about what it would realistically take to move there...

There are plenty of reasons not to: I just bought a house a year ago. I have a dog that is going to be 100+ pounds of beast taking up space. Cost of living is ridiculous. Seriously, I would most likely be leaving my 2,000 square foot home for a 700 square foot studio, walk up apartment.

But I'm still considering it.

I have felt unsettled recently and haven't known why. I have felt as if God is stirring something, preparing me for a change. I just didn't know what it was. Maybe this is it. I've talked about not being 100% content at work and my last straw with church. Is God telling me that now is the time to go? I'm single and have no major attachments, so if I don't go now, I may not be able to later.

I'm still praying about it, and trying to do my research, but in my mind- I'm moving to Manhattan. Right now my plan is to go short-term- maybe 3 or 4 years- and to rent my house out while I'm gone. I have casually started looking for jobs, just to see what is available, but I have been told not to look for housing until 30-45 days before I'm ready to move in because everything goes so fast. I do follow Snaplistings and PerfectStrangers on Snapchat though. :)

So that's my very vague, not fully thought out, imagined plan. We'll see how it plays out. I have a lot more researching to do before it becomes a reality. I'll be sure to keep you guys updated on what's going on!

What do you think? Am I totally crazy?

Sunday Smiles

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In Him all things hold together.

- Colossians 1:17

Day in the Life | Spring 2017

Alright, it's that time again. I'm linking up with Julia at My Life in Transition for another Day in the Life post. I don't always do these, but I like to occasionally because I like to look back on the mundane details of my day. And I usually find a blogger or 2 to add to my list after seeing the others that have linked up...

Thursday, April 13, 2017
I'm 30. Molly is 6.5 months and approximately 68 pounds (probably more now)

3:45 am | My alarm goes off. I roll over and press snooze. I stayed up late last night reading. And I drank wine last night. Drinking, no matter how much, always makes it harder to get up in the morning. Early mornings get harder as the week goes on too!

4:40 am | Finally decide to get out of bed. Bathroom. Brush teeth. Make bed. Thrown on some clothes and lay out my makeup.

5:10 am | Go into the den and wake up Molly. Some days she just lies in her crate looking at me when I open the door so I sit down with her for a while, but today she gets right up. Let her go outside and see what the weather feels like. I totally forgot to take a weather screenshot, but I think it was about 80 today.

5:15 am | Come back in and feed Molly and fill up her water. Turn on the coffee maker for me.

5:25 am | Decide that I should go ahead and do a "Day in the Life" today so I make some quick notes about what I've done so far.

5:30 am | Coffee. The nectar of the gods! I really want avocado toast this morning, but I used my last avocado yesterday so I settle for Greek yogurt and granola.

Some days Molly does really well and will lie down on the couch or play with her toys, but this morning she is really clingy and trying to get to my food so she gets gated in the den while I eat.

5:45 am | Check some emails then pull out my Bible. I'm a day behind in Isaiah for She Reads and I'm reading through Galatians on my own. This is not quite as relaxing as it used to be as I go back and forth into the den to stop Molly from craziness. She has so much energy this morning!

6: 25 am | Time for hair and makeup. It sound much more glamorous than it actually is... Molly hangs out in the living room while I get ready. She's not going to fit in this chair for much longer!

6:45 am | Get a text from my student that he won't be at work today. *Insert all the praise hands emojis* I have had some great students in the past and some are definitely better than others, but they still slow me down some and I leave feeling more emotionally drained than usual because I have to talk twice as much to explain and teach.

6:53 am | My "time to leave" alarm goes off. Turn on some Hamilton and jam out! Throw my breakfast dishes in the dishwasher and fill up my water bottle. Let Molly out to go to the bathroom again while I load up some things in my car. Put her collar on her and she immediately gets excited!

7:10 am | Drop Molly off at daycare. She literally runs to get there! I take her 2 days a week so that she can get out some energy and play with other dogs, because otherwise she is in her crate all day while I'm at work. It's on the way to work and she seems to love it!

7:30 am | Get to work. Do a quick skim of the list. Why are there so many new people on it?! Ugh!

8:00 am | Meet with the doc and split up the list. Then I look over my to-do list... Call nephrology, vascular, EP, and endocrine. Some days I really feel like all I do is manage consults... Sheesh!

8:15 am | Start the day with a new admission. I look her up in the computer before I go see her. Somehow the scripts that she got last month when she was in the hospital are completely different than what she had filled at the pharmacy the next day. How does that even happen?!

9:00 am | Her family isn't in the room and because of her mental status, I can't get most of the information that I need. Guess I'll just add another phone call to my list...

9:55 am | Saw a few more patients. Now I'm sitting down to try and do some notes. I also need to go ahead and make some phone calls so I can dictate the H&P.

10:40 am | I feel like I'm running in circles today. I get paged from a social worker about a patient that I have been trying to discharge for what feels like weeks. We finally got the insurance authorization for him to go to rehab. So I drop what I'm doing and walk across the hospital to do his discharge.

11:15 am | I still have so much to do! And I'm super behind on dictating discharge summaries. I really want to leave early today. I need to pick up the pace. Thankful that my student isn't with me today so I can move a little lot faster!

12:00 pm | Finally caught up on discharges for the day! Now time to see if I can at least some of my other patients before my meeting.

12:35 pm | Finished seeing everyone. It's an Easter miracle! Head back to my office so that I can grab my laptop and attempt to do some notes during the meeting.

1:00 pm | We have our weekly meeting with the CMO of the hospital. It's mostly lots of talk about length of stay and system issues and boring things like that, but it is also one of the only times that all of us are all together during the week so there are usually lots of tangents! At least they feed us...

2:25 pm | Finally out of the meeting. Go back to my office to finish up notes. And dictate even more!

3:45 pm | I'm finished early! And I'm off tomorrow for Good Friday. The weekend can begin!

4:00 pm | Go and pick up Molly from daycare. Hang out a little longer than usual to talk to the cute guy that is also picking up his dog. Man, I used to have such a crush on him. And now he's engaged. Story of my life...

4:15 pm | Get home and feed Molly an "after school snack" and get her some water. Throw on some sandals. Then I give Molly a bone to try to distract her so that I can leave the house. I did this same trick yesterday though so she didn't fall for it today. She followed me to the back door and sat at the door watching me leave. It breaks my heart! But I know that she's been playing hard all day and that she's exhausted.

4:25 pm | Leave for my cousin's house.

4:45 pm | I'm still driving. I hate driving! This is why I stick to my 5-mile driving radius 95% of the time.

4:50 pm | Finally! I came over to celebrate my nephew's first birthday! Well, it's my cousin's son, so technically he's my first cousin-once-removed. My mom comes over as well and we hang out and reminisce about Simon's birth and first year of life. Then we FaceTime with my aunt so she can say happy birthday to Simon too!

6:55 pm | A few glasses of wine, my favorite chocolate and peanut butter cupcake, and sweet conversation and then it's time to head home.

7:10 pm | I get to come home to this little nugget! I feed her some dinner and give her some Benadryl for her allergies. They are so bad right now. Poor thing!

7:15 pm | I'm supposed to go to dinner with some friends tonight, but one of them is sick and cancelled and the other one is already downtown with some other people. She invited me to join, but I'm exhausted and really don't want to drive downtown...

7:30 pm | I made it! Turn off my pager. Now it really is officially the weekend!

7:35 pm | Curl up on the couch and watch some Big Bang while trying to decide if I want to go out tonight. Molly chews on her bone- that she didn't seem to touch while I was gone. Of course! I can hardly keep my eyes open so I bail on going out and we reschedule for tomorrow night. Man, I'm getting old!

7:45 pm | I watch a little TV and start working on this post. Then I eventually give up and put my computer away. At some point, I fall asleep on the couch.

9:00 pm | Realize that I've been asleep. And that I never ate dinner. Guess it's too late now. Molly has already put herself to bed. She usually goes to sleep at 8:30 and I'm sure right about that time, she went and got in her crate and went to sleep. I give her a treat and close the kennel door and then head back to my room.

9:15 pm | Text with a friend for a little bit and make plans to meet at the dog park tomorrow. Read a little bit before I nod back off to sleep.

I realize as I'm writing this that I'm 30 years old and single. I don't have to work the next day and yet I was still asleep by 9:15 (technically 8...). In my defense, I am generally awake for the same amount of hours as everyone else. I just front-load them. :) This is likely one of the reasons why I'm single. Oh well. C'est la vie!

Happy Easter

I was in Nashville this weekend for Easter to spend time with my sister and her family. It was nice. The weather was perfect! Saturday afternoon, we sat outside and drank wine while the girls jumped on the trampoline and the three dogs ran around playing. Saturday night, we grilled Salmon with Brussels sprouts and asparagus. So good! That night, my sister and I started watching 13 Reasons Why on Netflix. I'm very intrigued. I still have a lot more to watch, but I really like it so far.

Sunday morning, we kind of all split up for church- because that is what my family does. Maybe more on this later... After church, the girls dyed some eggs and then got ready to go to an Easter egg hunt. My sister and her husband have been going to a friend's house for Easter lunch for a few years now (apparently. I was unaware of this before Saturday.) So we all headed over to their friends' house and ate lunch and met some new people... Then all the moms took the kids to the front yard to play and take pictures and each dad took a bag full of eggs to hide in the backyard. The mother at the house had filled 1,000 Easter eggs over the course of a few days so the kids were all very excited about hunting.

About this time was our cue to leave. We said goodbye to my sister and her family and my parents and I went back to her house to pick up the pups. I loaded up my car, hoisted Molly in (because my 70 pound puppy pretends like she can't get in the car on her own...), and got on the road back to Memphis. All-in-all it was a good trip. But I am reminded, yet again, that I am such a homebody. I had a good time while I was there, but I never feel like trips are super relaxing. Molly didn't eat well- or sleep well. They have things around their house and kids and small toys and I feel like I have to watch Molly all the time. Or keep her in the mud room and then I just feel bad. Then I get home and have to unpack and do laundry and mind decompress and mentally prepare to go back to work the next day.

It was a good trip, but Molly and I were both worn out!

Sunday Smiles

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He is not here, for He has risen!

- Matthew 28:6

Churchish

I have been talking about writing this post for a while and haven't gotten around to it yet because I still have so many thoughts running through my head. I still probably won't be able to adequately articulate my feelings, but I need to at least try to get them out. Last week, in Sunday School, someone came and spoke about "Why I'm a Wesleyan" and I'm pretty sure it was the last straw.

Growing up, I went to church of Christ, Presbyterian, Baptist, nondenominational, and now Methodist churches. My sister and her family now go to a church of Christ. My dad is at a nondenominational church and my mom has converted to Catholicism. All that to say, my faith journey and relationship with God has been impacted by many different sources. Denominational diversity has shaped my views of Christ and Christianity as a whole.

When my mom first talked to me about converting and my thoughts on it, I told her that as long as she loved Jesus, it didn't matter where she chose to worship. And I still believe that! As I've heard it said, there are rights and wrongs and there are rights and lefts. There are essentials and nonessentials and I am discovering more and more about myself through all of this.

So... back to my "last straw," there are been some red flags for me from early on in visiting this church, but I continued to go because I valued the community and felt as though the Bible was being preached. Those were pretty much my only prerequisites when I was looking at churches. But as I have gotten more involved and want to feel more connected and am thinking about joining a church, I have some concerns.

I don't know if all of my issues are related to the Methodist church or to this specific church. I do know that these are just my opinions and they are all on nonessential issues so take this all with a grain of salt...

Methodists seem very proud of their denomination- more so than any other church that I have attended. Maybe I'm just being hypersensitive, but there is something about it that rubs me the wrong way. In Sunday school last summer, people took turns telling some of their testimonies. Every single person started off their story with "I grew up in the Methodist church..." and it just seemed unnecessary. My testimony also starts with the fact that I grew up in church, but the denomination is irrelevant. In my story, the church as a whole takes a back seat to the incredible, God-fearing, influential people in my life. I just felt as though there was an weighty importance placed on the denomination of the church. Throughout the past few years, we have talked about various topics and we obviously talk about the Wesleyan view of things, but I feel like there is always a side note about how "others" do things.

I am not a Wesleyan so I don't know all the terminology, but there is apparently some sort of "Book of Disciplines" that Methodists follow. (I just googled it. It's legit.) I don't fully understand this. I believe in the Bible. I also believe in the priesthood of all believers. I struggle with the tension between the fact that I can approach the throne of God on my own without a "higher authority" interceding for me, but there is still a governing body that forms opinions on the Bible and tells me how I'm supposed to think on certain issues.

So there is apparently a conference coming up soon to discuss this book. From what I understand, the conference is on homosexuality and how it is viewed in the church. My understanding is that there is a lot of tension around this issue in the Methodist church and that it could even lead to a denominational split. And that is why the speaker came to talk to our class about "Why I'm a Wesleyan." (It took a while, but I made it full circle!) In theory, I don't have a problem with talking about what the Methodist church believes, but I do struggle when it is pitted against other denominations. I felt as though the talk came across very much as "this is the right way to think and this is what this or that denomination think." It felt very "us versus them." And I think that is what rubbed me the wrong way. Especially on nonessential issues!

There are other things I'm struggling with within the church too. Some of them are the church issues and some are internal issues. I miss diversity. I hate feeling overscheduled. The narrow worldview. I could go on. Feel free to ask me about it in person sometime...

So where does this leave me? I honestly don't know. I'm taking some time to reflect. And pray. And see where God leads me. I think I am going to go to the exploring membership class to see if I can ask some questions and get a better idea of how the church views the "others." I may go visit some other churches. But mostly, lots of prayer.

Thoughts?

Bedrest

Two Molly posts in a row! That's really because I have been slacking on posting and am super far behind. Also, I realized I hadn't posted any Molly updates in a while...

She is 6 months old now (Wow!) and very much still a puppy. She loves to explore and get into things that she shouldn't.

But she is also getting lazy. I can tell she's growing up and she definitely lounges around much more than she used to.

She loves to curl up on the pillows in the corner of the couch so that she can be alert if she hears anyone coming- or catches a bird trying to invade her backyard!

But the real reason for this post... a few weeks ago, Molly had surgery. She got spayed and gastropexy and they said to basically keep her on bedrest for 10-14 days! While she is not as spastically energetic as she used to be, she's still a puppy. The restrictions of "no running, jumping, or climbing stairs" were comical! She did great for the first 24 hours while the anesthesia was still wearing off...

But then...

I checked on her incision periodically and it still looked okay. And she didn't appear to have any systemic symptoms, so I tried to be flexible and go with it. She was at least less active than usual.

Also- she lasted approximately 1 night in the Victorian collar of shame, but she was miserable and I couldn't put her through it so I went and bought her a soft one. It's still not her favorite, but it is tolerable and it prevents licking so it serves its purpose.

We went back to the vet last week for her postop visit and everything checked out so we got the approval to take off the collar and resume normal activities. We are both very excited!

We also weighed again and she is on (the bottom of) the growth chart for the first time! We stocked up on heartworm and flea and tick medicine. It's all weight based and she's on the largest dose so once she gets over 100 pounds, we'll have to start doubling up, but we are at least good for a little while. The vet said to come back in about 2 months to reweigh and see how she's doing. She's growing fast!

Sunday Smiles

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Your righteousness reaches heaven, God, you who have done great things; God, who is like you?

- Psalm 71:19

Camp Days

While I was off enjoying the beach, my precious angel was off at camp. Molly stayed at Camp Bow Wow while I was gone. I've had a few people ask me about it, so here are my thoughts... it's more expensive than just boarding her, but she gets to play all day and socialize with other dogs so I felt like it was worth it. The day schedule is similar to what she was used to doing at daycare so it was an easy transition. The dogs are divided up by size and get to play all day minus a 2-hour nap time in the middle of the day.

I packed up her food (and a toy or 2) and dropped her off on Wednesday before I picked up my mom.

Overall, it was alright. Definitely better than boarding her, but still not my favorite. I love her daycare! They are awesome and seem to genuinely care about all the dogs. It's not that Bow Wow doesn't like dogs, but it's a franchise and felt a little too corporate. They didn't know people by name. Not that I expected them to remember me after just one time (even though they did at Dogs Rule), but they also didn't know the people there for daycare. They had to ask everyone that walked in who they were picking up. At Dogs Rule, they are always excited to see Molly and greet her by name. And when my car pulls up at the end of the day, they know it's me and start getting Molly ready.

Another thing that I didn't love about Bow Wow is that they keep the dogs collars on during playtime. I know that's not a major thing, but it can be dangerous with all the dogs playing. Molly very rarely wears her collar. She wears her harness for walks and her collar during transport to and from daycare or if we go out somewhere, but she never wears it at home. I'm sure wearing it nonstop for a few days was quite an adjustment for her!

But the thing that I did love about Bow Wow... the camper cam! They have webcams in the playrooms so I was able to check in on Molly throughout the day. It was so fun to get to peek in on her and see her playing with the other dogs.

True to form, though, if there was a human around, she went straight to them. She loves to play, but she will choose people over dogs 100% of the time!

I also paid extra for her to get a bath and nail trim on Sunday. She is not a fan of baths, so it was nice to have someone else do it instead of me! I definitely missed her and was excited to pick her up on Sunday when I got back in town. She's my favorite!

SB2K17

I wrote earlier about how I needed a getaway. My mom was on Spring Break so we planned a long weekend trip to the beach. Wednesday afternoon, I dropped Molly off at camp (more on that in the next post) and then went to pick up my mom to drive down to Seaside!

It was apparently everyone's Spring Break and so it was super busy and still pretty chilly when we first got there, but we were at the beach so I have no complaints. We checked in and got our complimentary bottle of wine- in addition to the 4 bottles that my mom brought with us.

Then we went to the cottage, unpacked, and walked up to the square to get something to eat. We were going to go to the Pizza Bar, but there was a wait so we opted for the Taco Bar instead. Frozen margarita, fish and shrimp tacos, and fresh guac. Delish! I also told my mom about the (2) times that I used a fake ID- both times to get into places; neither time to drink. Then we walked around a little more before heading back to the house to relax and open up some wine.

Thursday we woke up early. Because that's what we do. We hung out around the condo for a little while. It was still pretty cold! Then we decided that it was too cold for the beach so we jumped on our bikes for a ride. We rode down 30A towards Grayton, stopping a few times to look around some shops. We were hungry after our bike ride, so we decided to hit up the Pizza Bar before the wait was too long. I got an incredible pizza and the waiter recommended a drink that had tequila and jalapenos in it. Short of margaritas, I don't drink a lot of tequila and I really don't like jalapenos, so I wasn't sure how to feel about it, but I ordered it anyway and it was great! It was a little fruity and sweet, but with a swift kick. Yum! While we were eating, we saw some people walking down to the beach (mostly in sweatshirts) but we decided that it was too cold. My mom does not typically drink hard liquor and between work and the tequila, she wanted to take a nap. We headed back to the cottage and she took a nap while I grabbed a book and sat outside on the rocker reading. Oh, how I miss leisurely reading!

When she woke up from her nap, we walked/biked around some more, went to a few shops in Seaside proper, and talked to some of the locals. We decided to do an early-ish dinner (because we're old) and went with Bud and Alley's so that we could sit on the patio overlooking the beach. We got amazing drinks and shared crab cakes and hummus. And we eavesdropped on the conversation of the table of girls that sat behind us. It sounded like they were in grad school and talking about their research and stuff. They also ordered a bottle of wine. To share. Between the 8 of them! When we left the restaurant, it was still fairly early so we walked around and did a little bit of exploring before heading back to the cottage. Then we snuggled up on the couch with wine and candles (Hygge) and a really good movie, that I can't remember the name of. Oops!

Friday was St Patrick's Day so I made sure to put on green when I woke up. My mom and I biked over to the gym thinking that we would get a quick workout in, but there were too many people there and I don't really do crowds, so we went for a quick bike ride instead. Then we went back to the Pizza Bar for lunch. We got mimosas and shared some appetizers. We sat outside again and it had definitely warmed up. We saw plenty of people walking down to the beach, so after lunch we rode back to the house, changed clothes, and headed to the beach. We commandeered some chairs and I read for a little bit. The view was beautiful, but the wind still made it pretty chilly. And there were so. many. teens.

So we didn't end up staying as long as we had anticipated. We packed up our beach stuff and headed to the adult pool. Much less people and the wind was blocked so it wasn't as cold. We stayed there for a few hours (and until our wine was gone) and then headed back to the cottage. It was still fairly early and we weren't starving so we decided to sit on the deck with some chips and the best mango salsa ever from Modica Market. We also opened up another bottle of wine. Obvi. After our apps, my mom decided to be lame and that she didn't want to go back out. She asked if I wanted to go get her something and bring it back. I did not. But I did put on real clothes and bike up to the square. I got Taco Bar again for myself and sat and read while I ate. Then I picked up Shrimp Shack to take back to her.

Saturday, we went straight to the gym before it got too busy and got a good workout in! Then biked around before going home. This was definitely the warmest day, so we went back to the house changed clothes and went to check out the farmer's market. We bought some amazing shrimp dip and decided to just have a picnic lunch. We got a drink called the Stress Reliever that someone had recommended. It was incredible! After lunch, we did the same routine again.

Beach for a while, then back to the adult pool for some more relaxation. My mom left earlier than I did to go back and shower and go to mass. I stayed at the pool, reading and relaxing and drinking wine. Then I eventually went back to shower and get ready before mom got back. When she was back, we decided that, since it was our last night, we would do a nice dinner. We biked over to Watercolor and went to the Watercolor Inn. We sat on the deck because we wanted the sunset view. It was a little chilly, but they did provide us with wraps to wear while outside.

The food was amazing! First we had an asparagus amuse-bouche that I didn't know how i would feel about it when the waitress first brought it out, but it was great. We shared everything... seafood soup and Brussels sprouts for apps and then a white fish for our entree. By that time it had gotten darker and we couldn't see the view so it wasn't worth the cold. Our waitress moved us inside and we decided to splurge on dessert. We got coffee and a strawberry and dark chocolate souffle. So good! The chef also sent us with some complimentary chocolates to take with us. The food was wonderful and so was the service. I would definitely recommend this. It was a great last night!

We had to leave on Sunday so we woke up and packed up before going for a quick last-minute bike ride. Then we went over to Amavida and sat outside and drank our coffee while listening to the sounds of the ocean. Then it was time to load up the car and drive back to Memphis. I was sad to leave the beach and go back to reality, but I was ready to see Molly!

Next time I go to Seaside, it will definitely be in the off-season and not Spring Break, but overall, it was a great trip with my mom!

Sunday Smiles

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Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens.

- Psalm 68:19