The One With All the Sappy Feelings

I warned you that it was coming- the sappy feelings post. Don't worry. I hate it as much as you do! But you didn't think I could just talk about what I've done the past few weekends without talking about the conversations going on in my head, did you?

So we have been going out for 3 weekends in a row (4, if you count this past weekend in Atlanta) but I think it all hit me last weekend. Friday night was our typical night out and Saturday was the culmination of all of my feelings about Friday coming crashing down. Sometimes I feel like a toddler having a tantrum. It's like I have all these feelings and emotions inside of me but I don't know how to appropriately express them so I just eventually explode.

Sometimes I have these out of body experiences. It's like I'm watching my life from the outside. I don't know how to describe it. But there are times when I feel powerless around it. I feel like I'm watching myself and trying to tell real me to change course or do something differently, but real me is in a trance and just continues down the same path, ignoring the cries of out-of-body me.

Saturday I could feel everything bubbling over, but the real explosion didn't happen until Sunday. Too much time to think. In Sunday school, we are going through Revelation and talked about the church in Smyrna and spiritual warfare. Then at church we are going through the Lord's Prayer and this week we're on verse 13: "lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil" I sent some of my friends a text during church that it was like I was being stabbed with a sword of conviction- straight into my heart. And then came all. the. feels. Because that's what happens.

This weekend didn't make it any better. People get in the middle of things are it just complicates things further and leads my mind to race and my thoughts to wander. Blah!

I know that this was probably super vague and confusing. But it made sense to me and I just had to get all my thoughts out so they aren't swirling around in my head anymore. (Who am I kidding? These thoughts aren't going anywhere...)