Ch- ch- Changes

I know I haven't written in forever! I have thought about it a lot (while I'm in the car driving somewhere) and then by the time I get to my destination, I have 800 things on my mind. So, I haven't written. I guess life got in the way! (who sang that song?) 

Anyway, I've been thinking a lot about change. Since the end of the six month challenge, I have been called confident, social, and outgoing at different times. I laughed right away. I haven't been called any of those things probably since I was 8. I would never use any of those words to describe myself. The exact opposite actually. For as long as I can remember, I would describe myself as introverted. This article about introverts was going around on twitter recently and it describes me to a tee! In high school or college, I took the Myers-Briggs test and the therapist told me that she had never seen anyone so extreme on the scale. (umm, thanks...) But I think there have also been some insecurities related to not being as extroverted or outgoing as I "needed" to be. And while those insecurities are still there, there are things that I love about my introversion. These are the things that make me uniquely me! But sometimes I have to suck up the introvert and be social. And it's something that I have prayed about. But I don't always notice the change in myself and for someone else to call it out in me makes me excited. I also am 100% certain that any change that people see in me has absolutely nothing to do with anything that I could have done. It was totally the Lord at work in me and I am so thankful. I pray that He can be glorified through me!

Another thing that I have been thinking about is how and where I invest my time. And with whom I invest my life. I know that I have written once or twice about fellowship and community. But as life changes and friendships evolve, it has been on my mind. My friendships look different today than they did 2 or 3 months ago. And I know that friendships grow and change and shouldn't look the same, but it makes me wonder if these friendship have truly grown. Does my relationship with God look different because they are in my life? Has their friendship strengthened my understanding of the Word? My prayer life? Am I closer to God because they are in my life? And then I ask myself if they wonder the same things. How am I impacting those around me? I feel as if I'm in a transitional period and trying to balance old friendships and new friendships and still trying to make time for myself and learning to rest and relax. It's hard though. There are two groups that I want to be with on Monday night and I have to choose. I'm off work Thursday and I have growth group that morning. It's really easy to plan a coffee date after that and then still have time to have lunch with a friend that afternoon. And I miss the Thursday night hangouts we used to have. And I still need some Peter, James, and John time. And the list goes on and on. There are things that I want to do and people that I want to spend time with and invest in. And I can easily fill my calendar with great events and wonderful people but not find time to just abide. And the introvert in me desperately needs time to step away and rejuvenate! So I think it's time to take a step back and reevaluate my priorities...