>> I have never been a people-pleaser. Ever. But now I am finding myself having a hard time saying no. And I guess it's not because I want to please people, but because I genuinely want to do all these things. But it's getting to me and I feel as if I'm running on empty. All. The. Time. Something has to change.
>> Example: Last week, I worked Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. Sometimes I like working three in a row but it's also tiring. Then Friday night, I hung out with friends. Because I wanted to. And it was a lot of fun although I probably should have been sleeping. Saturday, I cleaned and ran (which I hadn't done in a while, but was some nice "me time") And then I went to the next house to clean all over again and run some errands. Sunday my whole family was in town so we went to church together and then back to my parents' house for lunch and to hang out. That was also a lot of fun. I'm not complaining that what I'm doing isn't fun. It's just exhausting! Then this week I worked Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Thursday morning I woke up at 4 to go to the grocery store (you would be surprised how empty Kroger is at that time of day). Then I came home, got dressed, packed, and went to growth group at 5:30. I left growth group and drove straight to Nashville to babysit my nieces for the day. I love them. They are adorable and funny. But I really just wanted to be sleeping for an entire day or so. So Thursday night I finally got in bed and then... insomnia. Yep. I think I woke up at 12, 1:30, 3:20, 5, 6:40, and then finally got out of bed at 7:45. My sister took the big one to a parent-teacher conference and I stayed with the little one. Then my sister and I went to the gym, I had lunch with a friend, and then I got on the road to drive back home. It was a busy 24 hours!
Then the plan was come home, unpack, go to downline conference, sleep, downline conference, supervise moving day, hang out with friends, sleep, church, volunteer with Fellowship kids, try to organize my life, sleep, work Monday, bible study Monday night. And then Monday night around 10, I can finally find time to breath! Whew! I'm exhausted just writing it all out!
>> I have a wonderful boyfriend who reminds me to breathe. And encourages me not to wear myself out. AKA say no to things. Which means that when I called him to tell him that I wasn't coming over tonight because I was tired and that I didn't think that I was going to go to the conference either, he showed up at my doorstep to see me- for approximately an hour before he had to go home and go to bed.
>> Tonight, I told him that I knew his schedule was crazy right now but that, in November, I wanted us to go on a real date. He (after laughing at me for a little while) said that it would be just as busy then, but that we could go on a date when his schedule changed. So... we have a date planned for January! And yes, I am creepily excited about that even though it's months away.
>> I'm awake right now and writing this post at all because insomnia makes me want to cuss. But give it a day where I have nothing to do (if that ever happens) and I'll be out like a light and sleep through the night. I didn't mean to rhyme. Being tired and not being able to sleep sucks! But I will say that the insomnia has gotten better. I have less sleepless nights so that's a blessing!
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