Day 8: Restoration

Confession: I feel like I've been cheating. And I know that I'm only cheating myself. It all started yesterday. I was out and the first person I see is an ex-boyfriend. Seriously?! So of course, my mind goes crazy! The good news is that I'm starting to recognize my behaviors. I can catch where my mind is going to go sooner and try to rein it back. But yesterday threw me off. I was able to take some time and pray and read back over the things I had journaled from the past few days.

This weekend I wrote about the lies I believe that I'm not good enough and how it plays out in every area of my life. I feel like I've been the "but" girl. Guys like hanging out with me, BUT they don't want to date me. Or someone will want to date me, BUT when it's time to get serious and get married, I'm not that girl. Then Monday night, when we talked about the inner vows we take, I realized that I have taken a vow that I'm not going to get married. I never would have done this on my own! But I think subconsciously, I've been thinking that for a while. So now I'm working on renouncing the vows I've made and learning to believe who I really am in Christ. I want this 6 months to be a time of restoration and growth.

I want things to be different. And for that to happen, I have to change things. So as of tonight, I'm unfollowing people on twitter and defriending them on facebook. I'm deleting numbers and texts from my phone. I'm starting fresh! (Things were a lot easier before all this technology...) But I'm excited to see what happens. No distractions. It's me and God!