Day 19: Reconfirmation

I'm trying to be positive. Tonight just reconfirmed why I'm doing this. I'm frustrated and discouraged. And only at myself. This morning at church, Bryan talked about faith and how it involves both trust and risk. He also talked about how God loves us to much to just let us get by. And that God will continue to allow us to face the same storms until we can pass the test and trust in Him.

I feel like I am continually getting the same tests. And that I am failing over and over again! And I know it's my fault! So frustrating! I want to trust God with this. I want to pass this test so that I can move on, but also so that I can grow. I'm tired of feeling like I'm on a carousel that keeps going around in circles but never gets anywhere.

I'm trying to be optimistic about all of this. I'm trying to use this as a reminder as to why I'm doing a dating fast in the first place. I'm trying to think about how things are going to be different in May. But I kind of just want to move to another city and start over.