So, today was interesting. It was his birthday. Everyone says this shouldn’t affect me anymore. And maybe it shouldn’t. Most days it doesn’t. 98% of the time I’m fine. I don’t think about him at all. Then there’s that other 2%. Those times when I see a truck that looks like his or I drive past a place that holds a lot of memories. But today wasn’t as hard as it could have been. Or as hard as it has been in past years. I thought about him. And about us. But it was more about reminiscing on the past and thinking about the good times. Yes, there was some wondering about what could have been and there was some regret. But there was no bitterness or hatred. There were no tears. Progress.
After work tonight didn’t go as I had planned- at all. But instead of beating myself up about it, I thought about how far I had come. I thought about what this night would have looked like a year ago- even a few months ago! And despite everything, I am excited and proud that things are different. Progress.
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