Loneliness

Yesterday at church, I thanked God for loneliness. I thanked Him for taking away my comforts and securities. Don't get me wrong. I am not always grateful. Actually, most of the time I am not thankful at all. Most of the time, I am discouraged and frustrated. And sometimes I'm angry about it. And that's okay. God is okay with all my emotions and feelings. He created every single one of them!

He calls us to be thankful in all circumstances- in the good times and bad. But yesterday, sitting in the pew, I could see a small glimpse at the future. Not the entire future, of course, but maybe just a tiny sliver of the next step, and it was okay. Over the past few months, God has been refining me. He has been stripping away all my comforts and continuing to remind me to rely on Him. But guys, the refining process sucks! I hate it and I have been fighting God every step of the way. I have been holding tight to control and comfort and things are a lot easier when you willing give them to God than when you wait for Him to strip you of them. Believe me! Ugh!

But I have said before, and I firmly believe that God requires total dependance on Him and He will do whatever it takes to get us to that point. I know that this is what it takes. I know that I need to be stripped of these things, but knowing it doesn't make it any easier! Sheesh!