Relax. Refresh. Retreat.

Last weekend I went to the women's retreat at church. I was really excited about it and had been super emotional leading up to it, so I was ready for some much needed time away. It was at The Country Place in Moscow, TN- about an hour away and the views were amazing! The location was incredible and so peaceful!

The cottage that we stayed in was great! We got there on Friday night and hung out and ate dinner before having some time of praise and worship in the chapel. It was so good! The theme of the weekend was Arise, based on Isaiah 60:1-3. The speaker spoke about being broken, but being able to rise with God through our brokenness. I definitely teared up on Friday night and it made me excited about what was to come the following day.

That night, we had some free time and took some pictures in the photo booth. There was also plenty of candy and chocolate around so I was running on a sugar high that night. I may have also sung Little Mermaid with hand motions and props! I also crashed hard that night!

The next morning, I woke up and enjoyed some coffee on the front porch while it was still quiet before all the festivities started.

There were 2 more large group worship sessions that day and some small group sessions. I'll be honest. These were slightly disappointing. Maybe it was just my group and no one really being willing to open up, but I felt like the small group times were not very fruitful. And I felt like I had been so empty that I was really needing some emotional fulfillment and restoration. So that was disappointing. We finished off with some worship and communion before heading back to reality.

Overall, the weekend was good. Not great, but good. I had a good time with friends and it was nice to get away. I had some downtime with God away from the busyness of everyday life which was very needed! I think I'm glad I went. If I had to do it over again, I honestly probably would have skipped the small group time and just gone on a prayer walk or had some time alone, but maybe next time...

Sunday Smiles

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I will praise the Lord at all times. I will constantly speak His praises. I will boast only in the lord; let all who are helpless take heart. Come, let us tell of the Lord's greatness; let us exalt His name together.

- Psalm 34:1-3

Total Eclipse...

Of the heart...

But not in Memphis. Sadly, we were not in the path of totality. We got 94% coverage, I think. But it was enough that I made sure to run out and get some glasses. I had to work, obvi. But we did manage to sneak outside and watch the eclipse a little while before all shit hit the fan!

Memphis is supposed to be 98% coverage in 2024, so I guess I'll store my glasses until the next one!

What did you do for the eclipse? Travel anywhere to get a better viewing?

Tidbits of Truth

* I struggle with the desire to document everything so that I have to memories and my desire to just be in the moment and enjoy things. So pictures of the kind of been lacking.

* I went on a date recently. (It doesn't deserve its own post). He was nice, but super bro! He's an attorney – and everything that goes along with that… Dinner was good, but we didn't really click. All that to say, I give them another can't to be asking out again. We'll see...

* I went to The Science of Wine with some friends at the Pink Palace. Science. And wine. My kind of event. It was a lot of fun!

* I thought this whole missing him thing would get easier. I guess it has a little bit. But I still miss him. A lot. Every single day. Things happen all the time but I want to tell him about. Or laugh with him about. Or just vent to him. And so many other reasons. I miss him like whoa!

* I booked my next trip to New York. In October. I'm super excited about it, but I'm also a little nervous that the charm would have worn off. I want to do some things that are off the beaten path. But I'm going with a friend who has never been, so we will have to do some classic New York things too. I'm trying to find a good balance. Any suggestions?

* I'm a 5w4. The iconoclast. The nonconformist and rebel.  When stressed, I disintegrate to a 7. The enthusiast. He's a 3w2. The Charmer. Bad combination!

Sunday Smiles

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There is none holy like the lord: for there is none besides you; there is no rock like our God.

- 1 Samuel 2:2

Chopped

It was time for a change. In lots of ways, but this one was the easiest. Ha! Maybe this will be the impetus to change other things too. It hasn't happened so far... but every day's a new day. I've been reading Tim Keller's book Counterfeit Gods and it's forcing me to come face-to-face with many of my idols. But that's a whole different post for a different day. Today is much more lighthearted... I got a haircut!

Now let's hope this leads to many more changes...

Sunday Smiles

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For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. 

- Ephesians 6:12

Just Some Questions

Because I've been super far behind on blogging and I'm trying to get caught up, I thought I would take a break from my more recent emo tweets and do something a little more fun and much lighter. One of the blogs I read posted these questions on her blog last week and I thought I would steal them and answer them too...

(If you're OCD like me and want to know what you're getting into before you start, there are 23 questions.)

1. Pool, lake, or ocean?
That's actually a hard one. Can I say a beachside pool? I love hearing the waves crashing and having a nice ocean breeze, but I could do without the sand. And the jellyfish.

2. Camping, cottage, hotel?
Ooh... any of the above! It depends on where I am and how long I'm going to be there. All of these have their advantages for specific occasions!

3. Favorite ice cream flavor?
It has always been mint chocolate chip, but I honestly don't eat ice cream that much...

4. PJs, nightgown, or t-shirt and shorts?
T-shirt and underwear. If I get twisted up in clothes (or the sheets), it wakes me up and I have readjust everything before I can fall back asleep.

5. Favorite summer beverage?
This summer it has definitely been La Croix. My favorite flavor has changed. Maybe mango, or apricot, or passionfruit, or lemon. If I really want a splurge- cherry lime!

6. Would you rather be hot or cold?
I feel like everyone always says cold, but I think I'm going with hot. I hate being cold! It's miserable! And I went without air conditioning in my house for about a month- because I was too busy/lazy to take care of it. It really wasn't that bad...

7. Sandals with heels or flats?
I hardly ever wear them anymore because I basically live in flats or running shoes, but I love wearing heels!

8. Shorts or skirts?
Skirts 100%! I hate shorts!

9. Sit in the sun or the shade?
Shade, but on a hot, sunny day where I can still feel the warmth of the sun.

10. Water, tea, of Coke?
Water. I don't like tea and don't remember the last time I had a coke...

11. Favorite summer fruit/vegetable?
So many options... watermelon and pineapple have probably been on the top of my summer fruit list. I've been eating a lot of clementines too. Veggies: broccoli and sweet potatoes are my current go-to.

12. Sunrise or sunset?
I love both. Like a lot. But I'm going to go with sunrise, because fewer people get to see the sunrise on a daily basis.

13. Bike ride or walk?
Both. Either.

14. Winery or brewery?
Also both. But I'm going to go with winery.

15. Garden or no garden?
For other people, I love a garden. I love eating fresh grown food. But for me, I will never have a garden. I have some flowers in my yard, but God is in charge of those, because I take no responsibility for keeping them alive!

16. Big summer concert or music in the park?
Music in the park

17. Favorite cookout food?
Burgers... Maybe hotdogs, because the only time I ever eat hot dogs is from the grill...

18. Dine indoors or patio?
What's the weather like? I love a good patio if the weather's right.

19. Favorite summer destination?
Seaside (ignore my answer to #1) or New York, obvi.

20. Big theme park or local carnival?
Neither. But if I had to choose- local carnival.

21. Drinks blended or on the rocks?
Depends on the drink, but in general blended.

22. Popsicle or freeze flavor of choice?
I don't know. Popsicle, I guess. La Michocana or MemPops

23. Hamburger or hot dog?
Hamburger

Alright. That's it. Link up if you want!

Loneliness

Yesterday at church, I thanked God for loneliness. I thanked Him for taking away my comforts and securities. Don't get me wrong. I am not always grateful. Actually, most of the time I am not thankful at all. Most of the time, I am discouraged and frustrated. And sometimes I'm angry about it. And that's okay. God is okay with all my emotions and feelings. He created every single one of them!

He calls us to be thankful in all circumstances- in the good times and bad. But yesterday, sitting in the pew, I could see a small glimpse at the future. Not the entire future, of course, but maybe just a tiny sliver of the next step, and it was okay. Over the past few months, God has been refining me. He has been stripping away all my comforts and continuing to remind me to rely on Him. But guys, the refining process sucks! I hate it and I have been fighting God every step of the way. I have been holding tight to control and comfort and things are a lot easier when you willing give them to God than when you wait for Him to strip you of them. Believe me! Ugh!

But I have said before, and I firmly believe that God requires total dependance on Him and He will do whatever it takes to get us to that point. I know that this is what it takes. I know that I need to be stripped of these things, but knowing it doesn't make it any easier! Sheesh!

Sunday Smiles

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For the sake of His great name the Lord will not reject His people, because the Lord was pleased to make you His own.

- 1 Samuel 12:22

Ruled by Emotions

That's how I feel sometimes. And it drives me crazy!

I'm pretty sure I've talked about the enneagram before, but I love it! It is a personality assessment of sorts and I pretty much love all things that allow me to explore myself more deeply and try to understand why I am wired the way I am. I read somewhere that the Meyers-Briggs in based on your behavior and the enneagram is the "why" behind your behavior and I think that is so accurate.

There are 9 basic types on the enneagram which can seem simple enough, but then it gets much more complex. In addition to your basic type, there are wings (on either side of your type) that you may gravitate towards. For example, I am a 5 with a 4 wing. I share traits with other 5s, but am also different from 5s with a 6 wing or 5s with no wing at all.

Another characteristic of the enneagram, that is different from other assessments I have seen, is that the enneagram takes into account how one reacts to different situations.  For each type, there are both positive and negative traits.  But the enneagram also shows that when a person is stressed, they disintegrate to the negative traits of another type and when they are healthy, they integrate to the positive traits of a different type. I, for example, as a 5, integrate to an 8 and disintegrate to a 7. It helps me to understand myself better and how I react to stress- for better or worse.

I just ordered a book off Amazon called The Road Back to You about better understanding the enneagram.  I'm still waiting wanted to come in, and pretty excited to get started. I totally think everyone should do some enneagram reading to learn more about yourself and why you react to certain situations. And if you want to read through The Road Back to You with me, let me know and we can nerd out together!