We're Both Stubborn

And this is mildy unhealthy...

I hate fighting. I really do. And you're one of the only people that I care about enough to fight with. I know that doesn't make it better. But that's why I get upset. Because I care. Because I'm invested in us. Maybe too invested.

I know I overreacted and blew things out of proportion. I know that I said some things just for dramatic effect. But you knew too. You knew I was vulnerable. You knew what you could have said to make things better. And you didn't. Instead you played into my rant and said all the things that you knew would push my buttons. Things that would push me further away. Things that would cause me to put my guard back up. And it worked.

Now we're not talking. Because we are both stubborn and neither one of us wants to give in first and apologize. Or just have a normal conversation and pretend like this never happened. But I don't think that we can just pretend this time. The elephant is still in the room. It will come up again. Pretending won't make it go away. It will just delay the inevitable. But I feel uneasy and insecure when I think about it. I hate that. I hate the tension.

So for what it's worth, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. I'm not sorry for what I said. It was how I felt and it needed to be said. But I'm sorry if I upset you. And I miss you. A lot.

* If you have no idea what I'm talking about, consider yourself lucky. But if you're just curious and want more details into my crazy mind, you can read all about it in my book. As soon as I finish it. #MyLifeonRepeat