The Heart of a Woman

God never ceases to amaze me! Seriously! I am reading Captivating for a book study and it is SO good. I have had this book for years now and have started to read it a few times before but have never made it more than a few pages in before putting it down and moving on to something else. Why didn't I read this earlier?! I mean, it's as if God-through Staci Eldredge- is speaking directly to me and the desires of my heart! But I didn't read it earlier because God knew my heart wasn't ready for it a few years ago. I mean, I read things today that I wasn't ready for a week ago! He's an on-time God! :)

The book is all about recognizing the heart of a woman and how the fall of man is the root of our behaviors and insecurities. "Every woman in her heart of hearts longs for three things: to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in the great adventure, and to unveil beauty. That's what makes a woman come alive." How true! These are the same things that God wants in a relationship with us. He desires to be known and sought after. He wants to be pursued by us-by me! In the book, Staci poses the question, "where do you go instead of to God when the ache of your heart begins to make itself known?" I've been asking myself this question for the past few days. Where do I go? To what do I turn? When my heart aches, why do I not automatically run into the arms of my Abba- my bridegroom?

God also wants to unveil beauty to us. He does this is so many ways. Hans Urs Von Balthasaar said, "every experience of beauty points to [eternity]." I LOVE that! I am kinda a biology nerd (I'm not ashamed to admit it) and I was talking to a friend that doesn't like/understand biology. I just don't get it. Romans 1:20 says "For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities--His eternal power and divine nature--have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse." God uses creation to show us himself! When I learn about the human body and the complexities of each organ and system working together, I can't help but be in awe of how incredible our God is! He planned every detail of each person-down to every cell (and cells are pretty neat!) He is constantly revealing beauty to us, so that we can see His invisible qualities! Anyway, I kinda started rambling so I'll stop. I just get excited about science...

On another note, one of the reasons for this blog is to serve as a testimony about what the Lord is doing in my life and to be able to proclaim his glory. I want to be able to boast in the trials and weaknesses, but at the same time, I don't want to use this as a mask for fake vulnerability. I don't want to simply hide behind a computer screen and use this as an escape from real, authentic community. So all that being said, I'm not writing about anything here that I haven't already talked through with someone face-to-face. Random, just something I've been thinking about and praying through!