Silence...

is golden crap! Seriously. It's no fun. And you know what's frustrating? When I read back through old posts and old journal entries and realize that I prayed the exact same prayer in April 2013 that I prayed in January 2011. I could try to say that I have been really faithful and persistent in prayer, but that's not really true. Honestly, I feel like I have gotten an answer about it. And some days I am content with the answer and other times I'm not. So I keep praying about it as if the answer will change. Because I'm a control freak and want to micromanage my own life. So many times I turn my back on God and tell Him that I got it. That I can manage my life better than He can so He can just go handle other things and let me take care of myself. Writing it out makes it sound so bad, but don't we all do that with our actions all the time?

So yesterday I was sitting down with my coffee and reading Jesus Calling and it was about trusting God and just sitting in His presence. Just what I needed to hear. But yesterday was hard. Well, the past few weeks have been hard. And still are. It's definitely still something that I'm working through and trying to deal with. God is going to need to show me and teach me a lot. So thankful for friends that can come alongside me and pray for me and with me. Friends that can encourage me and remind me of God's truths. But it also makes this whole silence thing even harder...

And this post has been all over the place! I had a specific topic in mind with the title of Silence and then veered so far off from that. Oops!