Emotions

True story... This has been an emotional week! I have gone through all the feels. So. Many. Feelings. I have probably said more 4-letters words this week than I have since I was a rebellious 8th grader. I'm only slightly embarrassed to admit that. I clearly don't have the best coping skills...

In my minuscule defense, I haven't slept in my own bed in 3 weeks. Between house-sitting for my parents, my cousins, a week in New Orleans and then back to my cousins, I haven't been home in 3 weeks. Can I at least blame part of my emotions on that? I have probably been a little more on edge than normal by not having a normal routine. I get to finally go home on Saturday and I can't wait! Who knew I would be so excited about returning to a construction zone? Oh yes, I've been gone for 3 weeks and my house is still under construction. They did drywall and painting, but there is still no bathroom upstairs and the carpet hasn't been replaced yet. The carpet is the only thing that they are doing in my room so of course they wait until I get back to start on that. C'est la vie!

So my emotional week started on Friday or Saturday in New Orleans. I was tired and missing my schedule so I was probably more fragile than usual, but it just hit me like a ton of bricks. I also felt like I was too tired to cry. Is that a thing? I was just so worn out and shocked that I didn't have the energy for tears.

Driving home was a good time of reflection though and then I was thrown back into work and life and busyness. Until Monday, when I felt like I got punched in the gut. I seriously felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. I was still too worn out to cry, but I did manage to say a few choice words in my car while I was driving back to my cousins' house. It's better to say them to myself than to other people, right?

Yesterday, I woke up with a shooting pain in my back. It would come and go with no obvious aggravating factors. In the morning when it first started, it was debilitating. There was lots of colorful language while I was getting ready for work. It eased up some as the day went on. By lunchtime, I was no longer grimacing with each step I took so that was progress. And so far this morning, there has been no pain so we'll see...

There is more that happened. One thing after another. I'm ready for this week to be over. Or maybe I want to rewind it and have a redo. But I'm trying to work on being present in the moment. It's hard though when the moment sucks!